you know what? FUCK YOU.

Lots of anger. This is not how I wanted my life to go. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

The Golden Years: set of four magnets available on Etsy.

fuck you anyway.

Sometimes it's a little challenging for me to move forward with life. Not because of any other reason, really, besides myself getting in my own way. I was talking to a new friend last night, very new, and she asked me how my day had been as she sipped on her oversized Diet Coke. I said it was ok, that I was a little stressed, even though that was a lie because in reality I was a lot stressed. My eyes watered a little and the floodgates opened - not crying, because the lobby of a tattoo shop is no place to cry, but a lot of shit just came pouring out of my mouth. This doesn't normally happen....I'm not a "share-er" unless I feel super close and/or comfortable. I'm especially not a share-er with a new friend. It's odd, to me, this making of new friends. It's almost like I don't remember how, like I've been in the same pattern for so long that I've forgotten the polite getting-to-know-you conversation topics.

As I was pouring out my crap day, my anger and disappointment and other unsorted and unidentified emotions, I blurted out, I just really hate my life. Which is true, in a sense, because of the last year of turmoil. But as I was walking on a suddenly cool Southern morning, amongst the broken glass from past car wrecks, a solitary truck door handle, overgrown weeds and soft-looking morning glories, I realized there are some beautiful moments, even in the wreckage.

So fuck you. I'll drink my strong coffee and eat my banana and just move forward. I won't crack from work stress and being micromanaged. I'll blare Jacked on Green Beers and I'll forget all about you, and her, and everyone else. So fuck you. You deserve it.

Voodoo Pincushion available on Etsy.

This is the story, and you're not in it.

Over the last few days I've been talking and thinking a lot about break ups. It was sunny this weekend but that drab, sad feeling of the bottom dropping out prevailed, and the sun slipped away sometime early in the week, leaving us with gray clouds, chilly weather, and sniffly noses. We can't just ignore it, this feeling. I usually just try to ignore anything that bothers me - the dirty dishes, the overflowing trash, the finite breaking of a heart. But just like the dishes and the trash, these need to be addressed and overcome.

I was chatting with my best friend earlier. We're tired and busy. We need to clear our heads so we planned a night to wear heels and flirty smiles. We need to heal, we need to get past this, and we can do it together, right? Right.

I can't stop listening to I'm Not Yours. It's relevant for all of us, and you know who you are.

So how do you get over it?

Boyfriend in a bottle available on Etsy.

The Thing about Breakups

It's Saturday and the sun is shining. There are mushrooms growing on the side of my picnic table. I noticed them this morning while I was playing Scrabble and waiting for my head ache to go away. I didn't touch them though; I was slightly impressed and disgusted with their weird spindly growth. I want to do something for someone that is hurting but I'm not sure what to do. I want to tell L, listen to If You Had a Bad Time. Break plates in my kitchen. Hit the steering wheel in your car, beat on something. Drink a million beers in the sunshine with me, today's perfect for it...

I'm working on a new mix, something for spring. I first thought it would be about sadness, like the last one, but then I thought about revenge, then love, then back to sadness. We all carry our baggage in different ways.

It was a full moon last night so I'm not surprised about the things that happened or the conversations that were had. If real life was like movie I could predict the next scene, but our life is not like a movie. And we're still here. In the sunshine, on a Saturday, you and me.

Daphne D painting available on Etsy.