Vintage Recipe Friday: Fudge Cupcakes

Just in time for spring: cute flowerpot fudge cupcakes.

Fudge Cupcakes
from Woman's Home Companion, February 1954

Heat oven to 350

You will need:
1/4 cup shortening
Two squares (two ounces) unsweetened chocolate
1/2 cup water
One cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
One cup cake flour
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
One egg
1/4 cup sour milk or buttermilk

Melt shortening and chocolate in 1 1/2-quart saucepan over low heat; blend in water and sugar; cool to room temperature; add vanilla. Sift flour, measure; add salt, baking powder and soda; sift again. Add egg to chocolate mixture in saucepan; beat well. Add flour mixture alternately with milk; blend well after each addition; beat until smooth. Fill muffin pans (greased or lined with paper baking cups) 2/3 full. Bake in moderate oven (350 degrees) about 18 minutes. Cool slightly; removed from pans, cool thoroughly. Makes about one dozen medium-size or 1 1/2 dozen small cupcakes.

Flowerpot:
Cover cupcake with coffee frosting; lightly sprinkle top with instant coffee to resemble soil. Pipe border of frosting around top edge and base. Cut flowers and leaves from gumdrops; stick on separate toothpicks.

That shit you don't want.

There are hard things that we don't want to face; sometimes we can't see past them and can't see that everyone has these difficult moments. T was in a good mood until an accidental run-in with someone to be avoided and after that both of our moods plummeted. I sat in a chilly office with a sore throat and tried my best to think of nothing. It's all there - the pesky grievances that we'd rather ignore.
I didn't sleep last night. I was worried about this morning and a morning weeks from now. I tried to imagine every scenario, what reactions were needed, what I should avoid. But I can't control that, just like I couldn't control this morning. I chatted with a stranger on an elevator and it made me sad because I saw myself in him. Thirty-three years is a long time to suffer, no matter what I tell myself.
This isn't the life I imagined but there's not much I can do about that other than trying to move forward. I wonder how I can move forward without money and freedom, but I know people do it all the time, and I'm resourceful, right? Because things could be worse. Remember when you thought that no one would forgive you, that you were marked, a giant bright letter on your chest just like Hawthorne wrote about? As if everyone could see it, as if it were glaring.
Once I was told that someone I love and care about had a lump in her breast. She told me calmly - there was nothing really she could do - and I got off the phone quickly and laid on my bed. The ceiling fan was on and the bed was a crumpled mess. I shut out the sunlight and just laid there, my head about to explode, my heart sinking, and I thought, how the hell can she be calm? How can she smile and tell me a joke?
She was facing her hard thing, standing up to it without fear, just like the stranger in the elevator this morning. Thirty-three years. You've got to face it some time. Fuck - life's tricky, right?

Vintage Recipe Friday: Easy Mix Muffins

Rich! Tender! Quick!

These look delicious - and not only are they easy, but muffins are perfect for the first delicious early berries and fruits of spring! Hit up your local Farmer's Market this weekend and enjoy these nibblies.

Easy Mix Muffins 

From McCall's, July 1953

Heat oven to 400 degrees.

You need:

Two cups sifted flour

Three teaspoons baking powder

One teaspoon salt

Two tablespoons sugar

One egg, well-beaten

1 1/4 cups milk

1/2 cup cooking oil

Mix and sift first flour ingredients into a bowl. Make a well and add remaining ingredients. Stir only enough to dampen flour; batter should be lumpy. Fill greased muffins pans 2/3 full. Bake in hot oven (400 degrees) 25 to 30 minutes. Makes 12 muffins. 

Blueberry Muffins: Increase sugar to 1/3 cup and add one cup fresh berries to sifted dry ingredients.

Peanut Butter Muffins: Cut 1/2 cup peanut butter into mixed and sifted dry ingredients.

The hour of the wolf.

I woke to the sound of trains screeching along the tracks this morning and the cats snuggled up to me in my bed. Sunlight was pouring in my room (it's getting lighter earlier and earlier as the days grow into spring) and I wondered about what happened the night before. Unexpected things, flickers in a dark room. We think the house next to us is haunted or otherwise occupied by someone that is crazy, someone that never turns the lights on.

But really I'm the haunted one. I've been trying for years to expel these ghosts. I've written pages and pages trying to get them out of my bones. But they remain, lodged, like the man next door, spying, aware, always.

It's the unexpected things that have thrown me for a loop. Small signs that I beg for and then convince myself that they aren't true, a move, a missed call, a dream and a smile. Everything is upside down but I'm not upset by it.

I told the truth once. You asked me last night to tell you something but I'll probably never tell you this. I was in a bar in Tennessee. It was early and we were drunk. I sat next to an older gay man. He was thin and had no front teeth. He told me about his childhood, playing dress up with his six sisters and living on a plantation in rural Georgia. He was high on pain pills that night, and drunk as hell. He flirted with the person I was with but I didn't care because I didn't want him. He kept talking until he finally was asked to leave. I started to cry, quietly, leaning on my friend, telling him something unknown to others. We all have our secrets, we all have our doubts. He told me he felt the same but I knew he was lying because it was one of those situations where you want to be lied to.

Later that same night I was told I was dangerous and that I knew it. I think this is one of those situations.

Tom Miller's House print available on Etsy.

Happiness endeavor..

This year my main goal was just to be happier. I'm still working on it. You'd be surprised how hard yet simple being happy is. For me it's a work in progress, so one of my new (old) past times is finding the little things that make people happy - grilling out on a nice day, walking the dog, sitting on the couch with loved ones late into the night, drinking tea and chatting, the smell of baked cookies, a freshly washed and made bed, a crisp morning.
This morning I found this: The Bicycle Project. Bikes wrap all sorts of good happy things in one package - the sun, control, speed, fun, mobility. I'm inspired to finally get new bike tires since my others are flat (and have been for a year) and start getting happy! Also, to take my own bike portrait ;-)

Join the party! This is a perfect friend date. And I would love to see portraits of you + your bike!

This could be you: